We all say it - I'm never going to be like my parents! but sadly kids, it's inevitable. I'd say that the majority of us were raised in a happy home with rules and boundaries that we hated and although we were too young at the time to realize it, it was for our own good. And we turned out pretty good, am I right?
Before I became a parent, I vowed that I would never force my kids to do homework, force my kids to do anything they didn't want to do, let them go out and be free....yet here I am, years later with a child and I find myself raising Kayla as I was raised:
I discipline like fuck. The only thing that I don't do, which my mom did, is spank. Kayla has never been spanked but I'm hardcore with discipline, as my parents were. I'm all about good manners, respect and proper behaviour; back talk, attitude and disrespect of any form is not tolerated and the consequence is punishment with 100% follow-through. I don't know how kids today get away with being so rude to their parents; I wasn't even allowed to talk firmly to my parents otherwise, I'd get a swift ninja kick to my ass for being so rude.
Do not bring dishonor to this family! The entire Asian culture revolves around honor, dignity and respect which, although we're in the 21st century, is still ingrained in the older Chinese folks of my parents (and my?) generation.
Kayla is an extension of our family which means she's a walking example of how we raise her which is a reflection of me and my husband. Therefore, she will not act like a fucking asshole in public or to any human around her because we are not fucking assholes. She will treat others with respect and kindness and anything less will embarrass me and get her an ass-whooping.
I'm a tiger mom. My kid will not be lazy or dumb. Homework and good grades are a must in this house and I don't like anything less than an A. That doesn't mean that a B is unacceptable, it just means that Kayla has to study harder to get the A I know she's capable of getting. I also don't believe in paying kids to get good grades or do house chores; people get paid to go to work and do a job and our house is not a place of employment. Good grades and house chores are things that are expected of Kayla as a contributing member of our household. Freeloaders ain't welcome here.
Homework and studying come first before anything fun and if Kayla decides to dick around with homework, she will sit at her desk all night if she has to in order to finish her work. If the teacher is a lazy fuck and doesn't give homework, then I assign it; she will do it and do it right....that means if it's not done properly, I will erase the whole thing and she'll have to redo it plus extra work #homiedontplaythat.
I'm a light, water and thermostat nazi. Remember your parents were always nagging you to turn off the light, to not let the water run so long and to throw on a sweater when you're at home because 15C isn't that cold? Yep, that's me. On any given day, I holler at Kayla to turn off the light/water about eleventy billion times.
Money management is a must! My dad was always on us to save our money. I was actually pretty good about it and have carried my ninja money-saving skills into adulthood.
Since before she was born, Kayla's had an investment portfolio and RESP. At the age of 6, I started to make her contribute towards her investments (read: I take her money and invest it for her and she can't say shit about it) and save whatever money she gets from birthdays/grandparents etc.
We also have an agreement - I buy the necessities, she buys the "fun" stuff. If she wants expensive "fun" stuff, she has to save for it. Although it kills the cheap chinawoman in me see her squander her money on stupid shit, these are her choices and she will have to deal with any consequences (ie. realizing she's now broke and has to start from $0 to save up again).